Gratitude in Dark Times
Written by Hope Melton
We’ve entered our national season of Thanksgiving, something we do every year, perhaps without asking: Why is it important to celebrate our gratitude together, as a nation? And what does this celebration mean in the context of our highly unequal and deeply troubled country?
It was my Mussar teacher, Carol Daniels of blessed memory, who introduced me to the core character trait of gratitude and the importance of a gratitude practice. She taught me that gratitude is foundational to Mussar study and practice because it opens the path to transformation at both the individual and societal levels. It is the practice of tikkun at all levels.
It does that because when we are grateful, we open our hearts to the goodness of others and the world around us. It is through gratitude that we become aware of our interdependence not only with others, seen and unseen, but with the material world, both man-made and natural, within which we live out our lives.
Gratitude inevitably guides us towards humility. It elicits a sense of awe and wonder before everything that promotes and sustains our lives, but is completely beyond our control—most fundamentally our own birth into the world.
The morning gratitude practice Carol taught me involves thinking of five things I am grateful for, every day. This moves me out of myself towards my closest others and the material context in which I live.
This stance of gratitude radically alters how I face each day.
What takes over my consciousness is an expansive awareness of the goodness in people, even when that is difficult. I am more inclined to recognize the dignity and worth of every person I encounter throughout the day, including those I pass on the street.
It facilitates the awareness that every one of the people and things from which I benefit is outside of, or other than me. This expansive orientation enhances my appreciation of so many small things I might otherwise not notice—the sound of the wind in the pines, what I call “mother moon” in the early morning and the bird song that opens the day.
The total of all this goodness and beauty is one overwhelming, undeserved outpouring of life and of love.
Finally, and most importantly, my gratitude practice points to my obligation to care for the other, infinitely extended; that is with, and also beyond, my closest others.
It commands me to expand and enhance for all “others” the basic factors that have promoted my own freedom to live a dignified, meaningful life. These include my loving family, my friends, my teachers and education, the professional life that enabled me to serve others while earning enough to own a home. Their multigenerational impacts enabled me, in turn, to raise my children in safe, nurturing environments.
How fortunate I am. At the same time, I am mindful that a large and growing portion of my “neighbors” live without these foundational elements that promote human dignity and flourishing, meaningful lives.
This Thanksgiving especially, let us recall the inaugural words of President John F. Kennedy, "Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.”
Let us come together in gratitude and dedication to a values-based struggle for transformation around the core Mussar values we all hold in common. These are, in the words of Rabbi Anton Goodman of Rabbis for Human Rights; “the sanctity of every human life, and the basic premise of human rights.”